Thursday, March 22, 2007

Big shock..........No change!!!!

500mg of Depekote and no one was surprised when Brendan woke up Tuesday morning and his head still hurt. Now we try and figure out if there is something else causing the migraine. His pain is back up to a 7/8 out of 10 and both noise and light bothered him today ---

So, let me just get a couple of things straight --- I would DO ANYTHING to bring relief to my child. Make no mistake getting rid of Brendan's migraine is my top priority. In the last 24 days (since technically it is DAY 24) this child has been poked, prodded, scanned, tapped, flipped upside down, adjusted, examined and poked some more. He has taken in the neighborhood of 300 pills AND has had an IV. He has had powerful lights shone in his eyes causing him to burst into tears. He has begged me not to take him back to the doctor. He has done each and every single thing that the Dr.'s (at last count there were 6 neurologists, 1 primary, 1 chiropractor, 2 nurses & 4 ER Dr.'s), his father or I have asked of him. He hasn't enjoyed it and we have not enjoyed having put him through what we have so far. But, alas the migraine is still here and we must get rid of it. Before I let ANYONE stick a needle into my child's spin I am going to make damn sure that I know exactly why they are doing it and what they hope to learn. In the last 48 hours I consulted with and gotten not one, not two but FOUR more opinions on this next step. Initially when Neuro #3 broached the subject of doing the spinal tap it made me panic --- immediately I pictured A) Brendan's reaction when he realizes what they are going to do with that needle and B) The fact that I have to look into his eyes and try and keep him calm while they do it when all I really would want to do is hold him and tell him I was working on making it better. But I won't even be able to do that -- he will have to lie flat for 6 hours to avoid having side effects -- oh yea so that means he also gets a catheter. After much research and discussion with Dr.'s WE are leaning towards agreeing to do this ---- do we want to put Brendan through this -- not on your life -- would we do it if we can figure out what the hell is hurting him. IN A FREAKING HEARTBEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a mommy on the verge of a breakdown --- My child is hurting and I have not been able to take the pain away. Every single moment I am awake I am trying to figure out what avenue we haven't taken. Researching different medications - talking to different Dr.'s, hypnotherapists, acupuncturists and any tom, dick or harry who may have some information. Doing all this while busting my ass trying to give him comfort and keep his stress level to a minimum --- This is a child who loves school and hasn't been in 3 yes 3 weeks -- he can't even do the work that I have brought home for him. He can't even read to himself -- we read to him. There has been no break for him - none. I want my child back.

The singing, dancing smiling, joking 10 year old. The boy who thinks it funny to jump out and scare the crap out of whoever is walking down the hall. The little boy who is going to turn 11 in a couple of weeks. That boy ---

Are we frustrated -- you bet!! Are we going to do whatever we have to in order to relieve his pain -- you bet we are.

Morning will bring a new day -- and with finger's crossed some relief for Brendan. Whitlee is doing well -- Her ear infection seems to be getting better. She hasn't wet the bed in a week. It is SPRING and eventually we will get some sun (not that I have seen it lately). All will be good --- eventually -- we just have to get there.
That is my gut check for today --- I feel much better -- Started feeling like maybe I wasn't doing everything I could --- maybe getting 3 to 4 hours of sleep a day was to much. Tomorrow I am doing laundry --- I am cleaning out the van -- if Brendan can take it maybe we will try and walk around game farm park -- even if it is raining -- we have rain gear. And hey isn't Easter coming..................and his birthday -- maybe I'll design his birthday party invitations -- and I have to finish the yearbook for his school. Maybe we'll just take a walk --- just a walk -- if he is up to it -- I sure hope it is overcast.

I love my kids.........more than anything in the world ---- there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them.

Template by Andrea Gold - Kit Kiss Me by Roberta D'Achille
It's 1:15 a.m. I am off to shower!!!!! Thanks everyone for all your words of comfort and support for the kiddos -- I really can't tell you how much it means that you all love them as much as we do. Give us a buzz if you have a minute -- we'd love to hear from you!!!!!!


Christy said...

Know that Brendan is in our thoughts and call us if you need anything. I mean anything. Even if you want me to bring you a cup of coffee or just sit outside your house and cry with you. Of course I would take Whitlee for a day of fun if you would like too!!!!