13 in 11

and the beat goes on..........................


He is getting more and more excited:)

12 days........

that's what he told me today --- yesterday it was 13 to 13......

He is SO SO excited about becoming a "TEENAGER" I am FREAKING out about it!!! I have heard horror stories about the "teen" years and it isn't just girls. There has already been some really emotional stuff. I get it I get it he is growing up. But, he is acting SO strange. I catch myself wondering "was I like this?" I'm not sure -- I don't think Steven and I ever went through a "growing" phases -- we were always just responsible.

His voice is changing -- that freaks me out!! It is MUCH MUCH deeper!! That REALLY FREAKS ME OUT!!! He sounds like Jeff more and more.

There is still the strange boy smell in his room. I know that there isn't anything "hidden" under the bed because I checked. It's just your normal everyday 12 year old boy smell + socks. His buddies at school - they all had hair as long as his was. Brendan got his hair cut -- they all have gotten their hair cut.

He is growing.........I can tell.............The constant eating that has been going on for the last 3 months WAS for a reason:) He has grown at least an inch in the last month or so -- Seriously, how tall is this boy going to be???

I can tell that he is more sensitive. There have been some situations that he is aware of -- they don't affect him directly - they affect people around him people he cares about. He isn't sure what to do about his feelings. He is hurting for others but doesn't really know how to handle it.

I know (I hope) that we will get through the teen years. I just might be totally grey/white by then. I am lucky and I am grateful to be his mom.

13..............YIKES!!!!!!!! It doesn't seem real...it doesn't seem possible!!! 13 in 12!!

I found a great new blog....

she is a new team member for Cocoa Daisy.............Cute and she is so creative. She has a neat little contest going happening on her blog right now -- What is the most beautiful thing in your life right now.

http://justperspective.blogspot.com/

to jinx or not to jinx????

THAT is the question!!!

I ended up picking Brendan up from school on Thursday -- his head was hurting BAD.........

He didn't go to school on Friday -- The Dr. called in an RX for pain meds. He seems to be better (fingers crossed). I let him go to the soccer game tonight -- I may kick myself for that one!!

I hate that he gets the migraine headaches.............it's more than hate -- it REALLY PISSES me off!! I recognize that in the grand scheme of things I've got it easy -- It's not a life threatening illness. It WILL eventually go away. I just hate to see him in so much pain! Those mommy instincts just kick the crap out of me!!!

I hope he is on the road to being and staying pain free ---

He will be 13 two weeks from today!!!! Where has the time gone. It is rather stunning for me to think of that. That tiny little baby -- has grown (and continues to grow) into such a fine young man!! He is changing --- I'll blog about that on his birthday..............

That's all........

Freaking Doctors????

So, yeah yeah I have a hereditary kidney disease. It is called Polysistic Kidney Disease. I have known about it since I was 18. I wasn't shocked to learn I have it -- you have a 50% chance of passing it to your offspring. My mother had 4 children -- 50% of 4 is 2.......I am one of those 2. I know I know I decided to have 2 children. I hope and pray that neither of them have it!!!! In our family history it (kidney failure) doesn't usually occur until sometime in your 40's. I have watched this disease kill 3 people in my family -- my mother, grandmother & Great Uncle Arthur. These are the only people in my family that I have known with this freaking disease.

So, for the most part I have been proactive with the disease since I found out I had it. I don't consume added salt. I don't cook with it. I try very hard to not eat high sodium foods (but, sometimes you just MUST HAVE BACON!!!!). It's isn't fun............

The thought of what awaits me FREAKS me the F*$# out!!!!! Being connected to a machine 3 to 4 times a week while the blood in my body travels through tubes to be cleaned by a machine and then back into my body FREAKS me the F*$% out!!! This isn't something new -- I have ALWAYS had the fear. When my mother was alive prior to her heart surgery she had her "treatments" at home -- I couldn't even go into the room -- I couldn't look at the machine. This is what the "basic" set up looks like -- a "comfy" chair and the freaking machine.

It's not that I am not grateful for an option - I am! I just HATE that this is my option. This machine - the machine of my nightmares looms................3 to 4 times a week for 4 hours a stretch!! It doesn't matter what day it is

I remember my mother's arm just above her wrist -- it was oddly large and mis-shaped. She had at least 2 grafts in there (they are used to access the veins for the machine they are permanent). Is that what I look forward to? Yes. My Dr. informed me today that I am "officially" stage one -- NOW, that is the very beginning of this process. I still have between 50 and 60% kidney function which is good. But, hearing that it FREAKED me out. My Dr. chose that moment to take my blood pressure -- guess what it was more elevated than normal!!! Go figure. It was a super rough appointment -- to top it off I had Brendan with me. I try and go to these appointments alone. Brendan stopped a ginormous 7th grader in PE yesterday with his nose. I was pretty sure it wasn't broken but it is still swollen -- he is getting black/purple eyes and it HURTS!!!! I just wanted to check!!! Anyhow it was a rough appointment. We have a plan. I am actually going to call the Dr. tomorrow and see if we can step it up a bit.

O.K. I'm done........Pity party for me is over...........................................

A couple of things..........

Day 03 of Brendan's Migraine -- it seems (fingers crossed) to be getting better -- He may actually try and go to school tomorrow. I feel SO helpless when he gets one -- Friday was ROUGH!!!!!!! I have a call into the acupuncturist and his Ped -- Just want to cover all the bases you know!

I had a WONDERFUL day today -- I worked at the BF (Ben Franklin) -- today was my Scrapbook Buffet. It was a good day!!!

We will see what tomorrow brings..............I hope Brendan will be able to go to school!!!

This is...........

Day 2 -- of Brendan's most recent migraine. Just trying to keep track.

Sometimes in life..............

you need to just breathe. Sometimes you do something that while you are doing it you think "Man, I think this is kinda dumb" - but you do it anyway!! Then some random thing happens and it brings you full circle -- then you think - "Man, maybe I'm not so dumb anymore".

Recently, the news has been full of the accident and then death of actress Natasha Richardson. Such a random accident -- she was having a private ski lesson on a BUNNY SLOPE. She fell and hit her head. No big deal right - a couple of hours later she wasn't feeling well and taken to the hospital after refusing inital treatment - cause, she was fine right? 3 days later she was gone leaving her sister, mother, husband and 2 young sons -- 2 boys that are Brendan's age.

Brendan, on Valentines evening -- we had gone out for our traditional Valentine's Day dinner -- Chinese food:) The kids had a blast -- Even Ginger was happy (there was red food!!). Brendan and Whitlee were hanging out in his room -- she was spinning around on the office chair he has for his desk -- not realizing that she was spinning Brendan bent down to pick some random thing from his floor. BAM!! she hit him on the side of the head with the metal section of the chair. She felt awful!!! She was sobbing and kept saying "I didn't mean to!! I didn't mean to!!! Not shocking Brendan had a headache -- after about an hour or so Brendan said he was feeling like he could throw up. Now, I figured since he got nailed in the head he would have a headache...duh! But, wanting to throw up put a whole new spin on it!!! I called the on-call Dr. It was the one Dr. in the practice that I don't really like -- She is O.K. I just don't like her very much. She said that I should take him into the ER. SERIOUSLY? Take him into the ER!! She said "yes, considering where he was hit if he was my child I would take him into the ER" - So, off we went. It was an interesting adventure:) There are some VERY INTERESTING people in the ER on Valentines Day evening!! I got to explain how sometimes, when people are alone on a holiday like Valentines Day they get really depressed (like the guy next to Brendan in the ER hallway) and take a lot of pills. We also had a conversation on why the guy in the first set of rooms kept screaming about how his penis was going to fall off -- we learned............errrrr, we forced to learn because he kept screaming it at his girlfriend that you don't ever replace Ben Gay ointment for motion lotion that heats up!!!.........................yeah, that was an interesting conversation to have with a 12 year old!!!! Then, there was the lady who had gotten hit by a car.....why, you might ask did she get hit by a car.............she jumped in front of it while she was crossing the street in a cross-walk and the car was going less than 5 miles an hour -- why was the car going less than 5 miles an hour...........because it was coming to a stop!!! Anyhow, we finally got placed in an exam room and the wheeled him off for a CAT scan................A CAT SCAN...........SERIOUSLY!!! He hit his head on a chair.............I'm thinking OK I get it but, it's stupid!!!! Brendan was fine -- he had a headache - they gave him some pain medication. He was fine. At one point I was thinking -- he just hit his head -- isn't this a bit much -- All the while Brendan kept saying "THIS IS STUPID -- LET'S GO HOME!!!" He even said it to the Dr.

Brendan in the ER

Brendan in the ER -- after pain medication -- notice he is crossing his eyes:)

So, do I have a point..........ah yes, Natasha Richardson died this week -- SO SO SO SO SAD!!! She fell on a bunny slope and hit her head. She HIT HER HEAD!! She didn't even hit it very hard. She DIED! I guess it wasn't so dumb taking Brendan to the ER on Valentines evening --- he was fine and he has a great story to tell........The CAT scan guy thought that they (the hospital) had made a typo and Brendan was 21 not 12 -- he (the CAT scan guy) thought that Brendan had hit his head from falling off a chair in a bar:) He was SHOCKED to realize that Brendan was really only 12. He called the intake girl and apoligized told her she didn't make a mistake with Brendan's age. The ER Dr. --- WAY WAY COOL!! Told Brendan that he needed to take his mom (me) home -- I had been through a lot!! He also told Brendan "When you sister is going to hit you with something tell her to hit you anywhere but the head!!!" He was a really great guy!!!!!

Random Things Overheard Recently.........

"Five Dollar, Five Dollar, Five Dollar foot long at Subway, eat fresh!!!"

"I'm a spider monkey"

"My feet smell like an elephants butt!!!"

"Karma, she is a bitch with a long memory"

I wonder............

how many???? How many bloggers write an entry but don't actually post it????? Just something I wonder......................I know I simply can't be the only one:)