Sunday, October 19, 2008

How do you explain it???? a 4 1/2 year old???

Sadly, my children are no strangers to death --- Since Brendan was born we have lost in no particular order -- Wilma (Jeff's Grandma), Bill (Jeff's Grandpa Rowe), My Mom, My Step-mom, Tim (My Cousin), Bachan (My Grandma), My Uncle Rick and Rick (My Brother) -- tonight while I was proofing some of the 600 or so photos I took of our annual trip to the pumpkin patch with Steven, Sharlene and Matthew I was I'ming with someone who had questions about the memorial book I made for my brother. Whitlee asked what I was doing so I told her I was answering questions about the book I made about Uncle Rick - she then burst into tears.................................

"I miss Grammy and Uncle Rick" she wailed as only a 4 year old can do. Now, I get that she misses Grammy -- the kiddos loved the heck out of her!!!! But, she had never met Rick -- she had talked to him on the phone -- but she had never actually met him. We tried to find him when we went to Hawaii shortly after she was born but couldn't locate him. She asked for a photo of Rick -- it is next to her bed along with the picture of her dad, brother, a popsicle stick and her most- awesome high school musical photo. She said she missed him and when I said "I do also sweetie" she asked if we could call him on the phone -- How do you explain that you can't --- and then explain the follow up ..... WHY??? She asked if I had his phone number in my phone -- without thinking I said yes.....How do you explain that the thought of deleting your brothers phone brings you to tears??? Maybe you don't -- Maybe, you just hold on to your little one - hug them - and talk about fond memories.

Brendan only talks about the people we have lost when it is just he and I. I think it has to do with his age. He misses everyone -- he has such a gentle soul -- it's hard for him -- being 12 and trying to "be grown up".